Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Three Years Today - Gone Too Soon


Today marks the three year anniversary that my Dad passed away.  In all truth, it feels like it was just yesterday.

I posted the above photo on my FB.  I wished he was here and would send me a sign.

Later that day, Omid found an old camera and was looking at all the images on the SD card. This photo was on there. It was from December 13, 2013. We were at the coast clamming with two other families.  Omid called me over to look at the photo.  I was so happy and upset at the same time.



 I believe this is the sign I asked for. Validation from my Dad that he is always with me and heard me.


Thanks for the sign, Dad!  I miss you so much!!

Monday, November 18, 2019

RIP Mansourkhan

Omid's dad passed away this morning in Nashville. He was 87 years old. 



I will remember the way he said Hello (Hallow!), his black French beret hat, his love of red wine and how he requested that we keep romaine lettuce on hand for him to feed Remy when he visited. I know Remy is eating a lot of romaine lettuce tonight in Heaven. 


1968 wedding photo

At Arezou & Evan's wedding

The famous French beret






Together in Heaven drinking red wine & good Scotch


Cheers in Heaven, Mansourkhan!
Until we see you again. 

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

The Best Dog in the World


Remy crossed over the Rainbow Bridge early Sunday morning. He was in obvious distress and was ready to go. I know he's with my dad. I know he can run and chase small animals again. That gives me tons of comfort. 

His passing has left a huge void in our lives. Our hearts are broken and only time will heal the hurt. One day when we think of Remy, we'll only smile and have happy memories.  We had 13.5 wonderful years with him that we wouldn't trade for anything.

For now, I want to remember everything about him.

We wouldn't have had Remy in our lives if it wasn't for Naseem. She used to be a very picky eater and refused most food except for chicken nuggets, buttered noodles, raw carrots and mangoes. Omid made her a deal: Eat whatever was put in front of her for one month, and he would buy her a dog! It was hard for Nas, but she did it! We were all so excited. She thought she wanted a Bearded Collie, but after visiting the Rose City Dog Show, a Vizsla actually found us and the search was on for a breeder.
 A year later, she finally got her puppy!





Remy loved oranges, blueberries and tomatoes. Every year we bought him his own cherry tomato plant. He'd check it everyday. He'd also check the neighbors tomato plants and blueberry bushes too. 

Remy loved to go on our boat and dive off the back again and again (50 times in a row, no joke), he would get so tired, Omid would have to put a lifejacket on Remy and stay in the water with him to keep Remy from sinking. 


Remy loved the beach. There were so many miles of sand for him to run and run and run.
 Remy also loved to go clamming with us. He never missed a trip. He was a pretty good clammer too.
He always came away with one or two clams.


Remy loved his people and we loved him back. 

Remy was a 55 lb lap dog who loved his snuggle time.

He gave us so much love and affection. 

He was silly, goofy, elegant and noble all at the same time.




RIP my sweet, good boy. I know we'll see you again. 





Sunday, September 3, 2017

11:11 Again!

Naseem flew in to visit for a few days last week. My mom sold her house, so we drove up to Olympia so Nas could see the house a final time.  I asked my mom if we could separate my dad's ashes at the same visit. 

Something very cool happened when I brought the ashes into the kitchen to separate.
I took a photo of the label on the urn and then looked up at the clock on the microwave.

 
I know my dad was there with me at that time. 11:11 has become a very special number for me now.
 
Before Nas and I left to come back home, I cut some of the snapdragons my dad planted & loved. I dried them this week and they still look beautiful! I am just sad that his 'peekaboo' daisies were all spent and I was unable to get any of them.
 
 
Omid and Matty were just fishing on Tuesday of this past week. When they caught their limit and packed up to go, Omid looked at his watch: 11:11!  This was the first fishing trip since Matty was small that my dad didn't go on (physically). 11:11 for sure seals the deal for me that he was present spiritually.  
 
On Wednesday, I had a dream that I have to write down as I don't ever want to forget it. I dreamt that I walked into my kitchen and saw my dad sitting at the bar, talking with Omid and Matty. I knew that my dad had passed, but wanted to try and hug him anyway. I knew that my hug might go right through him as he was just an apparition. I tried it anyway and to my surprise, he was solid and physically there! I said, "Dad! You are really here!" He said, "I am really here!" He was wearing his usual Hawks Prairie Golf Course cap and a light blue 1/4 zip pullover I'd never seen before.  I told him all about Omid and Matty's fishing trip the day before. He replied, "I know! I was there."  It was such a gift to be able to touch him and talk with him. Even though I knew he had passed and in heaven in my dream...I woke up and was so grateful for the gift. I know in my heart my dad was communicating to let me know that he was indeed present for the fishing trip that has been a tradition for so many years. The last dream I had a few weeks ago, he was in my dream and had a cell phone but was unable to communicate.
 
Thanks for the visit dad! ♥ It meant so much!!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Gone From My Sight by Barbara Karnes RN

My wonderful friend Katie volunteers for Hospice. She has listened to my dad's story countless times. Katie suggested I read some books written by Hospice nurses.

I found a few at the University library written by Barbara Karnes RN. The first one I picked up was really a pamphlet on 'End of Life' called "Gone from my Sight." Wow. That little pamphlet I wish I had read before my dad passed, and I wish my mom and sister's had read it as well.

It explains what to look for in the months, weeks, days and hours before a life passes.  Good information. At the end of the pamphlet is this beautiful poem about death. It's so powerful.

From Gone from my Sight by Barbara Karnes.

I just found out that Barbara Karnes has a blog! Check it out!
https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Signs

 
In 1994, my Grandmother died in Seattle, Washington. At that very same time in Vancouver, Washington, I was napping with my baby and had a bad dream. When I woke, my teeth were hurting a lot. I had been gnashing my teeth in my sleep. My dad called a few minutes later to tell me my Grandmother had passed. A short time later, my cousin Mildred passed away. I experienced the same phenomenon as her passing too - a not so pleasant dream and the sore teeth. I've since read that pain the teeth during a dream means someone will die or has died.

The day after my dad died, my sister asked me if I had experienced the same thing with my dad (the tooth pain). I told her I did not. In fact, I had no idea at all that my dad was about to pass until my sister called and said we had to say goodbye at that moment. I was sad that I didn't experience the same sign as with my grandma and cousin. I was much closer to my dad so why didn't I?  Thinking about it, I have had many signs and they are much more happier than bad dreams and teeth gnashing.

In the weeks before my dad died, I encountered many, many butterflies. Sometimes 20 or more in a day. They would fly all around me (even dive bomb at my head). Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I  happened to mention it to Naseem who Googled it and found that if you are seeing a lot of butterflies in your life, it signifies that change is about to happen.

The Thursday before my dad died, I called to check in with him. He told me he'd had a visit from his brother-in-law he hadn't seen in over 20 years. He said, "Cliff is two years older than me and looks so much better. I am all skin and bones and feel like I don't have much time left." I told him of course he had time and that Cliff didn't have the same ailments, etc. That would be the last time I spoke with my dad save for the evening he passed (while I was patched in via cell phone).

The Sunday that my dad passed away, Omid and I drove to Olympia to be with my family. Omid said he could feel my dad's presence in the room. Omid said he wanted to toast my dad. We were about to toast when I happened to look at the clock on the microwave. It read 11:11 p.m. I couldn't believe it and had to take a photo.  If you see 11:11 on a clock, it means angels are trying to get your attention. They certainly had ours!



The next morning, I was up early and spent time in the backyard with Remy. I saw numerous butterflies and took that as a sign from Heaven. Matty told me that he noted tons of dragonflies at work that Monday. My niece Sam said while walking to her car, a butterfly followed her and danced all around her. That same afternoon, as we were all sitting in my parents backyard, a Western Tanager flew into the yard. I  have lived in WA my entire life and have never seen this bird before. We all watched as it hopped around, then flew away.

Omid and I headed back to Olympia and went shooting (grief therapy). One of the things my dad was going to do when he got better was to go shooting with Omid and I. Sadly, he never got that chance. While shooting last week, I imagined I was killing cancer and did pretty well. I noticed there was an insect flying around the chamber, which I thought was strange, as this is a state of the art facility with no access for insects to get in (via air ducts) unless they hitch a ride on a patron. After I'd finished shooting, I brought the target to the home position and showed Omid. We both saw that right next to my shoulder, was a baby dragon fly. The dragon fly had been watching me shoot! Omid said, "That's your dad!" He got to go shooting with us after all!☺



The morning of my dad's memorial service, I told Omid that I felt it was the final goodbye and I was having a hard time with that. Omid said, "Look all around you. Your dad is here." At that same moment, I looked at the sky and saw a tiny cloud with a very short rainbow coming out of it. I asked Omid if he saw it and he did. Then, just like that, the rainbow was gone. There was no rain that morning. I told my sister about it and she said it was a fire cloud. I recently Googled fire clouds and this cloud looked nothing like the images I found online. This, I know, was a direct communication from Heaven.

Also of note, that same evening on our way home, there was a significant cloud formation in the sky that looked like a giant angel. The next morning while I was on Facebook, on the 11:11 page, there were tons of photos people had uploaded from around the world as they had also seen angel clouds.  It was an amazing sight. Thursday of last week, I awoke to probably 30 angel clouds in the sky. I grabbed my phone to take a shot, as I was so sad I didn't capture the image on Sunday.



The most recent sign since my dad passed just happened this past Monday. My sister said her husband had purchased a Coke from a vending machine. It was one of those bottles with names on it. The bottle he got said STEVE.

The same exact time that my sister sent that text, Omid and I were sitting in a restaurant. The table next to us was celebrating a family birthday. One man's name at the table was Papa (what the grandkids called him) and another man's name was Steve. I couldn't believe it and burst into tears (happy & sad).

What have I learned from all this? I know that my dad's energy is present and I know that he is using these signs as a way to comfort us and let us know he's okay.♥

I love and miss you, Dad! Please don't ever stop sharing your energy with us!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Healed at Last

 
The bottom line is that my dad succumbed to his bout with cancer. The good news is he did not go down without a fight. My dad's loss is huge. He was the most wonderful man. He had no time for drama. He lived his life simple and straight forward. He did great and expected great. He loved his family something fierce. We are all feeling his void, but also know that he is in a wonderful place.

I have been seeing butterflies constantly the last few weeks. I mentioned it to Nas who Googled it and it means a change or transition is coming. While I was in my parents back yard yesterday, I saw three butterflies within a few minutes. Matty said he saw a ton of dragonflies yesterday too. We both took comfort in these sightings.

The outpouring of love we have received from family and friends is definitely helping. Thanks to everyone for the phone calls, text & Facebook messages and emails. You will never know how much your words have comforted us.

Erin ♥

The following is from my dad's CaringBridge site.

Dear friends and family,
We have bittersweet news to share. Our dad passed away last night at 8:00 p.m. with my mom, Brenda and Cynthia by his side, while Erin was patched in via cell phone in Vancouver. His death came suddenly and unexpected. While we are heartbroken that our dad is gone from this world, we are so happy that he is no longer suffering and in pain and is now in Heaven with his Lord and Savior. Thank you so much for all the prayers and well wishes. We are especially thankful for all the friends and family who made it down to visit with our dad the last two weeks. He enjoyed every moment!!
Again, thanks so very much for all the love. 
Audrey, Cynthia, Mike, Caleb, Sammee, Erin, Omid, Naseem, Matty, Remy, Brenda, Tom, Cayden, Kohl, Conner & Barley.
 
John 14:1-2  
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.